“2012: A Food Odyssey,” color etching, 8 1/2 x 9, 2012

Teichman, Mary

Recipe for Getting Oneself Invited to Dinner

An assortment of sympathetic friends who are good cooks
No time to cook for yourself
A bouquet of flowers and/or a beverage
Food storage containers
Microwave oven
The first step is to ingratiate yourself with friends who love to cook
and entertain. Whenever you see these friends, remember to mention
that you are so busy with art projects these days that, sadly, you
have no time for cooking (it is also helpful if you are living alone).
Frequently ask what they are having for dinner. A wistful look (and
even a touch of salivating) as they describe the meal they are planning
works wonders.
At dinner, eat heartily, and be sure to compliment your hosts a
minimum of three times throughout the evening. “This is the best
meal I’ve ever had” is always appropriate. Never refuse leftovers, and
bring along some food storage containers with a bouquet of flowers
or a beverage for your hosts. Never leave empty-handed.
A tip: when the craving hits in the middle of the night–after reheating
your leftovers–don’t forget to close the microwave door before
you head back to bed.